PON Stories
Hurricane Frances - Labor Day Weekend - 2004
PON Hurricane Party, or How to Make Sure Your Humans Survive
(But No Longer Mentally Stable).
By: Boris, Natasha, BeBe, Topper, Slodkie and Stauch.
(TIP: If your humans were not wise enough to have the entire house done in tile, they will soon - long before the next hurricane.)
Invite all your PON friends over for the party. Send out an open invitation to all PONs, as the more the merrier. You have to make sure that there is not any space left for a human to walk for the next couple of days in a shuttered up house.
You love your humans so you have to stay right next to them at all times to make sure that they are safe. This is your natural herding instinct and your humans will greatly appreciate your thoughtfulness.
With all of these duties, you will be really hungry all of the time, so every time your human goes near the fridge, be sure to gather the entire gang at the door (that is where they keep the good stuff - baby carrots, etc). Your humans will show their appreciation by sharing everything there with all of you.
When the rain starts to really come down in sheets, go to the door with this pained look on your faces and scratch at the door to go out. You must do this every few minutes to show your humans how good a job they did with your potty training.
You really want to get your humans' attention, all of you must disappear at once and be very quiet and play hide and seek with the humans to keep them entertained for the long period that you are going to be together in the SEALED up house. They will really be worried for you and come searching every time to see what you are up to.
For your PON friends' entertainment, you have to get out all 47 of your toys and spread them around the entire house, so that you are never far from one to play with and chase each other around the house playing take away. Some of the real old ones you must chew up and make a few small pieces for the humans to pick up. This is good for them as it keeps them occupied for hours and takes their minds off of the hurricane.
The first night, all of you must get in bed with your humans and cuddle them so that they will not be afraid (and remind them that their bed is not large enough and they must go shopping as soon as the hurricane passes).
As for all of that food that you are eating, remind your humans how well the flowers grow with that stuff spread around them. As for the other problem, it is strange how the wind blows water in the house in puddles (there must be a leak somewhere). Be sure to keep that "who, me?" look on your face at all times.
When a feeder band passes and it is calm outside for a few minutes run to the door and scratch to go out. As soon as your humans fall for this one, head for the basement and, since Florida homes do not have basements, make a new one in the yard real quick and then come running back into the house and run all around. They can use the dirt that you bring in to fill the flower pots. You are being real helpful and thoughtful. Besides, you will dry, and the dirt falls off easily everywhere (and of course, a wet PON does not mat). If you hear the humans say the word "bath", it is time to play hide and seek again.
When the wind starts up again, you all have to go to the windows and even though they are covered, bark to scare the hurricane away to protect your humans. This may take some effort, so do not give up easily. You must show your humans that you are brave and strong and not afraid of a little wind.
Don't forget that while you are outside digging the new basement, get some of those loose limbs and bring them in the house with you when you come back in to help your humans clean up the yard. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness and reward you with treats. Everyone has to go sit by the treat jar and stare at it until they get the message. Your humans will learn if you have enough patience with them (proper training of a human is a full time job and since they are not all Polish like you,it could take some time).
Most hurricanes only last for a few hours. Since this one lasted for 48 hours, please understand that when the men in the white coats come and take your humans away that they will not be able to give you a pat on the head for all the good work you have done protecting them from the mean old hurricane because of those funny jackets they are wearing with the ties in back.
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